I'm Sad Novels & Stories

he said in a completely numb way. He's definitely not fine. I can tell by the look of his eyes. He looks sad, tired and depressed. Sinubukan kong alukan siya ng bubble gum and how it can help him from calming down kasi 'yong paninigarilyo niya just makes it even worst. Hindi siya kumakalma, lalo lang siyang nadedepress. "Have you ever cried on your birthday?" he suddenly asked me.

Nakaupo ako ngayon sa kama ko habang hinihintay ang pagdating ni Michael. Alam ko na hindi magtatagal ay darating siya at magkikita kami. Sana lang sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na kami muling magkalayo. I smiled melancholy, I don't know why but the sadness I'm currently feeling is somewhat lingering inside my head and that actually make me dizzy. I want to throw up but my body says the otherwise. I want to feel secure and okay, to feel like I was okay even though I know to myself that I wasn't.

My hands are on my sides. I feel the sadness that started to wrap around my whole body, soul, and mind. I am blankly looking at the dark sky. Waiting for it to open and fetch me. Hoping life is as easy as that. Once you want to give up, just close your eyes and leave this f*cking atrocious world.

I just look away and excused myself bago pa ako lamunin muli ng sakit. I immidiately go back to my room while eating my breakfast and silently crying. Wala akong magawa sa kinalalagyan ko, wala akong mapagsabihan at mapagsabihan ng mga problema ko because I know that no one can help me. Day by day I already losing my hopes.

Kahit hilam ang mata ko'y hindi ako lumingon para siya balikan. I guessed sapat na ito para tigilan ko na siya at huwag nang umasang makikipag-ayos pa siya sa'kin. I feel so hopeless and sad, everytime na maalala ko ang tagpong iyon. Nagigising ako sa gabi na basa ng luha ang mga mata dahil napapanaginipan kong iniwan na n'ya ako ng tuluyan. "Hey, did you hear me?"

Umusod ako palapit sa kaniya at niyakap siya. “I know I have no right to complain. Pero minsan bukod sa napapagod ako, nalulungkot din ako sa nangyayari sa atin. Lalo na sa amin ng anak natin. I feel bad because I haven’t been giving you time these past few months. I’m sorry, love.” I laughed a little.

Marahan niyang salita at kiniss ako sa noo bago niya ako iwan sa kwarto. Sunod-sunod naman na tumulo ang luha ko. Ang sensitive ko naman ata masyado. Hindi ko kasi matanggap na ginawa ni Hugo ‘yon sa akin. I am hurt. I am disappointed. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang mas lamang sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. Galit ba, sama ng loob, disappointment, hindi ko alam. Ang gulo ng utak ko.

Sa wakas ay umalis na siya sa tabi ko kaya nakapag-focus na ako sa pamamalengke. ROME Pinagbuklod ko ang mga hita ko habang binabaling ang tingin ko sa paligid. My heavy breathing doesn’t stop. My soul was drowning in the river of my grief. Even if my sight caught the amazing view of the world, my mind was exploring a lot of places in sadness. Sino ba naman kasing hindi malulungkot? Even if my parents are with me, the reality makes me feel that I have no one by my side.

i added with sobs. Napaluhod ako at patuloy na hinihimas ang lapida ng aking anak. I drowned myself in this sorrow, sadness and pain until the pain turn numb. I drowned myself in my tears until they completely drained. Gustohin ko magpakatatag pero saan ako huhugot ng lakas? Bakit sa kabila nangyayari sa buhay ko bakit nanatiling nakatayo pa rin ako sa mundong ito.

Mas nananaig parin ang takot at sakit na naranasan ko noon. Napahagulhol ako sa iyak. Please someone...save me. Please save me from this sadness. Gusto ko lang namang sumaya, I just want to be love by someone. I just want to feel happy and secured by someone. I couldn't help but pity my self.