Keeping Me Sane Novels & Stories

Nagiging maayos na din ang pakiramdam ko and hindi na ako nahihirapang huminga. Magaling na nga ako at iyon ang masasabi ko. I just need to take care of myself and don't forget to take my medicines. I eat a lot of healthy foods and I'm avoiding my self to drinks, like alcohol, coffee and soda. Sa ngayon din, andito kami sa bahay namin sa Spain. Which is my first home. And guess what?

“Pero don’t worry. We’ll manage everything. Basta nandito ako, walang makakasira sa atin, Kiara.” Napangiti ako, kahit pa alam kong hindi madali. Ngunit sa bawat salita niya, ramdam ko ang lakas at katiyakan na kailangan ko. Sa kabila ng takot, may pag-asa pa rin na mapanatili ang lihim namin. At habang nakaupo ako sa tabi niya, isang simpleng reminder ang dumating sa phone ko—isang text: “Keep calm, stay smart, and never let Kara know anything. Ever.”

was the woman who helped me. I spend almost 3 months staying in Camiguin. Masaya... masaya na kahit papaano ay naging mag-isa ako. I was busy healing myself alone without hearing any validations and approval from others. I'm thankful because I was strong enough to handle myself. After a year, I stopped taking medicines. Instead of focusing on the negatives thoughts I always choose to put my attention to something that can hook my attention. I spend my time watching movies and some dramas while eating some snacks. I spend my time on exercising inside my room. I spend my time reading some romance books that I ordered online.

"Paano mo napapanatili ang sanity mo with that kind of lifestyle?" Napangiti si Ada. "You don’t, really. You just learn to cope. But that’s the fourth thing—mental health takes a hit. The pressure to always look perfect, the constant competition, and the fear of losing relevance—it’s overwhelming. I’ve seen some of my friends quit because they couldn’t handle it anymore."

Kaya naman, ang coping mechanism ko ay deadmahin lamang ang mga bagay na hindi nakakatulong sa buhay ko. Wala akong balak magpakaalila sa kanila today para mag-overtime for the sake of their useless existence. Kaya naman, bago pa maibuka ng co-worker ko ang bunganga niya para utusan ako, I immediately stormed out of the office for the sake of my sanity na din.

Isa lang ang sigurado ko sa ngayon—ayoko nang malayo pa kay Athena ulit. Pumunta ako sa kitchen at saka tinungo ang refrigerator. Uminom ako ng maraming tubig at habang ginagawa ko ‘yon ay unti-unti kong pinapakalma ang sarili ko. I was convincing myself that things would finally turn out to be better, not to be worse than before.

“Hindi mo pinaghandaan lahat ng ’to para lang sumuko ngayon.” Kinabukasan, pilit kong bumalik sa opisina na parang walang nangyayari. Pero kahit anong pagpapanggap ang gawin ko, hindi ko maalis ang bigat sa dibdib ko. Para akong bomba na handang sumabog anumang oras. Sinubukan kong ibuhos ang sarili sa trabaho — magsulat, magplano, mag-organisa — para lang manatiling abala. Pero kahit anong gawing pagtakas, may bahagi pa rin sa akin ang hindi matahimik. Habang abala ako sa paggawa ng report, narinig ko ang usapan mula sa pantry.

Hindi ko na muling hahayaang mapahamak siya ng dahil sa Akin. Akala ko naranasan I was fearless and kaya ko lahat but I wasn't so anxious of hell but here I am right now. In rage and anger and with Miriiell, I'll make sure na may kalalagyan siya sa lahat ng ito. I just need solid proof tp pin her down. But that's not the struggle that is really the main reason that's msking me insane.. I'm now at the edge of my walls...the walls that I am protecting...it has been cracked for a long time now and I down know if I can still hold it not tp collapse.

I can’t hear anything. I frustratingly slammed the book dahil nagmumukha na akong usisero dahil sa ginagawa ko. Marahas kong sinampal ang aking sarili at huminga ako nang malalim. Why is this happening to me? Why Am I like this? Damn! Just let them be Mino! You’re making yourself look like an insecure human!

"Thank you po, Chief Rey." Walang tumatakbo sa isip ko kung hindi inis. Anniversary namin at wala akong ginawa kung hindi maghintay sa wala. Keep calm. Keep calm. Bago ka magalit, pakinggan mo muna ang explanation niya, okay? Paulit-ulit kong mantra para manatili sa composure.