Reminiscing About The Past Mga Nobela at Kwento

It’s almost like we’re just reminiscing about the past. It’s not an issue to me at all. Those places we go to are usually quiet so I have no problems with it. The silence is not making the atmosphere awkward at all. Instead, we get busy reminiscing that we don’t even talk to each other anymore. She would usually speak just to remind me that in that place, we did something stupid there, we did something memorable here and stuffs. I just listen to her because all of the things she’s mentioning are still intact in my head. I can remember it well as if it just happened yesterday. I would hear her laugh softly every time. And that’s making my heart melt.

Dagat pa rin ba ang naroon o mga ulap na? “It's already in the past now...” mahina niyang sabi. Parang pelikulang nagre-recap sa isip niya ang mga nangyari noon. Nararamdaman pa rin niya ang pamilyar na pakiramdam na idinulot sa kaniya ng pagkawala ng mama niya noon.

Bakit pati sa iniwan nilang letter sa locker ko noon ay binanggit niya ang tungkol sa kanila? "Base sa research na isinagawa ng mga bata ko tungkol sa 'yo, mukhang hindi mo naaalala ang ilang mga bagay tungkol sa buhay mo four years ago. Alam mo bang nakakapanghinayang dahil nakapag-ambag pa naman ako sa memories na 'yon ng mga bagay na hinding-hindi mo makakalimutan?" T*nga talaga ang isang ’to. Kung talagang hindi kalimut-limot ang bagay na 'yon, bakit hindi ko maalala ang mga ‘yon ngayon?!

Saad ko para ipaalala sa kanya na isang beses lang nangyari yun at hinding-hindi na mauulit dahil pag-aaralan ko na nang mabuti. "Pero memorable." Dugtong ni Kyrex. "Hindi mo pa rin talaga nakakalimutan." Napailing ako. "Hindi madaling kalimutan." Muli nyang saad. Napahawak ako sa noo ko habang natatawa. Sa bagay nagpresenta akong magluto nun tapos ang nangyari naging maalat pa. "Pwede bang burahin na natin sa history 'yon?" Suggestion ko.

I remembered every bit of what happened, and everything that I felt. Nag-init ang pisngi ko sa mga alaala. Sinupil ko ang sarili dahil sa kahibangan. Dapat na pagsisihan ko ang ginawa at hindi dapat naghahangad pa ng kasunod dahil lang nakalasap ng sarap. Oh, great, I’m daydreaming when this isn’t the time to reminisce that hot night. I should… I don’t know… maybe I should be cleaning up this mess. Though I don’t know how. It’s not as if this was my first time.

Yet it is a teacher and a molder of a better future also. Pain is simply means learning from past and bringing those lessons in the future. 'We' is my past and 'Me' is my present. What about future? No one can tell but all I know is... The history will never ever repeat itself. Past will remain as a past. Hindi na natin maibabalik iyon. "Forget the old Agent Gray and Agent Green. Isipin niyo na lang na nagkaroon ng new edition ang character namin. Hindi na kami ang dati kaya naman 'wag nang ikonekta pa sa kasalukuyan ang nakaraan."

I once tightened my hold to let him know how much I liked getting close to him like this. Our memories were the product of everything we did in the past, and they let us revisit each moment whenever we wanted—others might just cross our minds randomly or when triggered. We treasured all of the good times we had with the people we loved in our memory. We kept all of the happy moments we had with others in our minds. Even if we attempted to disregard it, the occasional sad days we had endured could be remembered. “So about my family’s grave… They are in a private cemetery, right?” I opened a new topic, this time, about our destination.

“Ano?” Hinawakan niya ang larawan naming dalawa. “Gusto ko lang maging tahimik ang buhay natin.” Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Me too.” “Then why does the past keep coming back?” Hindi ako nakasagot. Dahil marahil, may mga kasalanang kahit gaano mo kalayo takasan, may mga taong ayaw kang hayaang makalimot. Lumapit ako sa kanya.

Bahagya nitong pinisil ang kanyang kamay. “You don’t have to remember your past now, Gail. It’s called past for a reason. You don’t have to recall them. Some of those memories will only hurt you.” Mariin niyang tinitigan ang kanyang mga mata nito. “How am I going to build my future if I couldn’t recall a single thing about my past?”

"Paano?" Kasi kung ako ang tatanungin, ang tanging daan na nakikita ko ay ang pabalik kung saan ako nanggaling. No moving forward. Parang tinanggalan ako ng tsansang humakbang pasulong nang hindi siya kasama. "Let's not remember the past and live the 'now'." "Mas praktikal yon. Nahihirapan din akong alalahanin yung nakaraan kaya lang naaalala ko pa. It was so painful."