Always Remembering Novels & Stories

Siguro ay dahil sa antok. Inihilamos niya ang palad sa mukha. Nanaginip na naman siya. Palagi siyang nananaginip. Kaya lang, kapag nagigising na siya sa umaga ay nakakalimutan na niya ang panaginip na iyon. Hindi na niya matandaan. Pero kahit hindi niya matandaan ay sigurado siya na pare-pareho lang ang nangyayari sa panaginip niya. Somehow, it felt that way. Her life was just like that. A constant search for something she can only be fulfilled in a dream that she couldn't even remember.

Hindi ko alam pero habang tumatagal ang paghaplos sa aking noo ay nababawasan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Sa tagal nang pagtitig ko sa kanya ay biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang isang memorya. Nabato ako sa aking kinatatayuan nang matanto ko na ang memoryang iyon ay ang nangyari kagabi. Gulat na gulat ako habang nakatingin pa rin kay sir Alex habang tuloy-tuloy na nag-play sa utak ko ang nangyari kagabi hanggang sa umabot na sa pag-amin ko sa kanya.

Am I really that forgetful? "And he was in your circles back then." Dugtong pa niya. "Baka nakalimutan mo lang. Knowing you, you tend to forget important things. Why don't you visit your doctor to have yourself checked? Baka seryosong problema na 'yan." "I can't believe you don't remember him."

kumunot pa ang kaniyang noo. "You have a big mouth. Akala ko ba ang maingay lang dito ay si Bella at si Patrick, ikaw din pala." I said matter of fact. They're all forcing me to believe that I am Alexander Blackwood. While it's so frustrating that I cannot remember my past, it doesn't mean that I am not struggling to regain my memory. Pinilit ko na alalahanin ang aking nakaraan. Having an amnesia is frustrating and depressing. I want to know the truth. But i felt dizzy and tired looking for clue.

Bakit nakalimutan kung birthday ngayon. I cried convulsively. Why? Bakit ngayon pa at bakit sa birthday ko pa. Is this a birthday gift? Then I don't like birthdays anymore. Sa gitna nang iyak ko ay pinilit ko pa ring ngumit at nagpapasalamat na hindi nila nakalimutan yung birthday ko at ang nakakatawa pa ay sila pa yung nagpapaala na birthday ko. I feel like I'm such in a move teleserye.

tanong ko bago tuluyang bumigay ang katawan ko sa antok. “Yes, Sir,” sagot niya. At sa simpleng sagot na iyon, doon lang yata tuluyang kumalma ang katawan ko. Hindi ko na alam ang sumunod na mga oras. This is bad. Because I remember everything. And I’m no longer sure I want to keep pretending that I don’t.

Imbes na maupo at humiga ay mas gusto ko munang maligo, or just do anything upang mapawi ang init sa katawan na nararamdaman ko. That brandy really got to me. It's also been quite a while since the last time na nalasing ako. The last time was... Never mind. It's something that should never be brought up and should be kept in the deepest part of my memories. Yeah, that's what I have been saying, that the memory of that night should be buried deep down, but for some goddamn reason, that memory is being stubborn and wants to stay afloat, keeping on reminding me of that sinful night. It's probably because I was drunk that I was having a hard time keeping it down under.

“Maybe we’re friends before. Who knows?” Mariin niyang kinagat ang ibabang labi. Ramdam niya ang pagpapaligoy-ligoy nito na para bang hindi ito interesadong sagutin ang kanyang mga katanungan. Mas lalo tuloy siyang naguguluhan. “I see,” she replied and sighed. “If you are though, I’m so sorry if I can’t remember you. I am suffering from amnesia and I couldn’t recall anyone from my past. If you are one of them, please let me know.”

Saka niya pinatay ang tawag. Muli siyang pumasok at umupo sa kama. He clenched his jaw nang maalala ang gabing may nangyari sa kanila ni Maruja. Umaasa siyang maaalala nito iyon ngunit ilang buwan na ang lumipas pero parang wala man lang itong reaksiyon. Thinking that Maruja didn‘t remembered about what happened to them makes him frustrated. Parang gusto na lang niyang ipaalala dito ang gabing iyon. That‘s the most memorable night happened to Adam‘s life but sadly, the woman can‘t remembered it.

I admitted quietly. His eyes lifted slightly, attentive but not intrusive. I hesitated. Then continued anyway. “It’s not like pain. It’s… absence. Like something important used to be there, but I can’t remember what it is anymore.” Lucas didn’t interrupt. So I kept going. “I keep thinking maybe I should remember more clearly. Maybe if I tried harder, I could hold onto something about them. But every time I try, it slips away.” My fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the folder.