Novel & Cerita I Doubt Therefore I Am

“Let me handle this.” Yuhei’s POV Umiling ako. “No.” “This is my team.” Renxiao’s POV Tahimik akong nakatingin. Hindi ako nagmamadali. Hindi ko kailangan. Because once doubt is planted— It grows on its own. Yuhei’s POV “Explain,” sabi ko. Diretso. Walang paligoy-ligoy. “Now.” Riven’s POV Hindi ako nag-react agad. Tumingin lang ako kay Yuhei.

-=Jayden's Point of View=- "This can't be happening." I keep muttering to myself, pero kahit na anong pagtangging gawin ko ay nasa kamay ko na mismo ang katibayan. Muli ay tinignan ko ang pinadalang mga reports ni Arman na para bang mababago non ang katotohanan.

“How can I trust the mere words? I have my own path, and it possible to far dangerous than crossing the forest right now!” “Then go!” Hindi niya napigilan, napakapqit na lamang sa simbolong nasa kaniyan leeg. “But I can't just having the other path while you cross that dreaded... of a forest, Real,” halos hindi na siya makatingin sa akin. “What the hell are you trying to say-” “You are doubting of what suppose you are going to cross because I'm here,” siguro niyang saad. “So please, forget about me while you are deciding...”

Ito na ba ang matagal nang pinapagabag ng aking dibdib simula pa kahapon? Ramdam na ramdam ko na maaaring may pagkakamali o may mangyayari na mali. Ito na ba 'yon? Ito na ba ang pagkakataon? Louis can never do this to me, I know it. I trust him.

“Sure ka ba talaga dito?” Huminto sandali yung kamay ko sa pagtitiklop ng damit. Then dahan-dahan akong napabuntong-hininga. “No.” Tahimik siya. “Pero kailangan ko pa rin gawin.” At iyon yung totoo. Hindi ako sigurado. Hindi ako sigurado kung tama ba ito. Hindi ako sigurado kung pagsisisihan ko ba habang buhay.

giit ng manugang, may halong pagkadismaya, “hindi ako naniniwala na walang makakahalata! Someone will doubt it sooner or later!” “Suspicion is just suspicion,” malamig na tugon ng matandang ginang. “Wala silang ebidensya.” Napasinghal si Jean, saka nagtanong na may halong panunumbat. “Mom… dati, hindi naman ganito ang iniisip ninyo. Pero ngayong nakita ninyo si Francesca at nakita ninyo kung gaano kayo magkamukha, bigla na lang kayong nagbago ng isip, tama ba ako?”

If that was the case, I really wouldn't blame him. After everything that happened between us—after everything that I did—I understood why he would have doubts. After all, I was not doing well at making my words and my actions align. Well, if Icarus was indeed still doubting me, then I only had one thing to do to make that doubt go away. And that was to prove to him that this time, I won't be turning back against my words. I'll fight for him this time, no matter what it costs, no matter what the outcome would be.

Pakiramdam ko kasi ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. I am doubting something because I know that when I made something fast, it might fall immediately because of lack of strong foundation. “Love something's bothering you.” It's not a question, it's a statement. I took a deep breath at humarap sa kanya. “I'm just thinking about something,” maikling saad ko. “What is it hmm? May I know?” he caressed my arm and my hair. I smiled at him as I leaned on his muscular body.

Pero nakita ko ang pag-angat ng kanyang labi: “dahil alam mo ang sagot.” My posture crumpled. Hindi ko inaasahan ang susunod niyang sasabihin. He was right…I knew it from the very beginning. So why did I doubt? Bakit niya pinaparamdam na kahit katiting ay may pag-asa na maging totoo lahat ng ito?

Hindi nag-abalang magpalit ng damit. Pumikit ako ng mariin at humawak sa dibdib. Bakit ganun? Panira ng mood talaga kapag inaatake ako ng doubt. Inatake ako ulit ng doubt at nauwi ako sa pagtatanong sa sarili kung may silbi ba ‘tong ginagawa kong pagsusulat. Para sa akin ba talaga ‘to? Nasa tamang daan ba ako? Matutupad ko ba ‘yung pangarap ko na maging published writer?