Pampering Myself Quotes

My boss, who made me work overtime every single day, finally got what was coming to him. Somehow, he got connected to my new keyboard. It was like he was synced to it. His face flushed red, his eyes brimming with tears. "Don't type anymore," he begged. I just smiled and nudged the mouse. "Don't move the mouse either!" 'Do you expect me to just stop because you said so? Wouldn't that make me look pathetic?' I thought to myself. I kept working until midnight. Just as I was about to leave, I glanced down. The carpet at my boss's feet was soaked through. I figured he must have knocked over his glass of water.

Whenever I was on a video call with my online boyfriend, I carefully angled the camera, terrified he might see my shabby rental. One day, the ‘curtain’ behind him slipped, revealing an original Picasso. I said, “Nice edit. It looks like the real thing.” He angled the camera and showed my doodle next to the Picasso. “Yeah, my dad said that this one’s worth the most.” When the day came for us to finally meet in real life, I lugged two sacks of potatoes, ready to help him out. The butler, dressed in a sharp suit, opened the door. “Ma’am, Mr. Rigsby has been waiting for you to pick out an engagement ring.” My knees gave out. “Um… Are these potatoes enough to make a pot of stew?”

My online boyfriend is very rich. Every time I get treated badly by my unscrupulous boss, he transfers money to me. But after another late overtime shift, I finally snapped. I was on the phone, yelling, “I’ll never forgive Zack Barlow. That scumbag!” However, my online boyfriend suddenly becomes quiet. He then asks, "Is your boss also named Zack Barlow?" His words made me pause.

On the day I entered my contract marriage with Brian Janson, a flood of comments suddenly flashed before my eyes. [No…! The villainess is going to ruin the male lead’s purity!] [The CEO’s first time should belong to the heroine! Shameless woman, get off his waist right now!] [Are they going to do it or not? I’m on a tight schedule.] [Come on, have some loyalty to the main couple!] [If Brian knew he wouldn’t be able to give Quincy the ‘pure, untouched version’ of himself in the future, he’d probably drown in guilt.] Pure, untouched version? Sorry. I was born a villain, and making trouble is what I do best. So while Brianwas drunk, I leaned in without the slightest bit of guilt. The comments exploded again. [It’s over. They look like they’re about to get married for real!] [Am I seeing things? Did the male lead just… smile?]

I’ve always felt like Travis Chancer was forced to marry me. Every time we were intimate at night, he’d rather use his hand to get me off than actually have sex with me. I got more and more disappointed and decided to divorce him. But the night before I printed the papers, I heard him on the balcony talking to his buddies. “Bro, I’m not trying to be nosy, but you’re obviously dying for it. Why won’t you touch her? The perfect woman is right there. It must feel amazing.” “Women can’t stand being ignored. If you keep bottling it up, she’ll eventually run off with another man, and you’ll regret it.” He took a quiet sip of whiskey. “But her skin is so delicate, and her waist is so slim… she’s so sensitive. What if I lose control and scare her? “She’s my woman. I have to be careful. If she wants to find comfort elsewhere, she can. As long as she’s still willing to come home, I’ll keep spoiling her.” They snorted. “Don’t act like a saint, man. If you’ve got the guts, stop secretly posting on Reddit.” Late that night, I quietly opened Travis’s browser history. A full hundred entries. The pinned post read: “I finally married the girl I’ve loved for years, but I have a very high sex drive. How can I make her enjoy it without leaving psychological scars?”…

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

I am a pureblood succubus. Every seven days, desire consumes me. Stuart Newlin always complained that I clung to him too much, that I distracted him from his grand ambitions. Then, at the peak of my heat, when I needed him most, he blew me off. He chose to go to his female friend's prenatal appointment instead. The thing is, a succubus can't survive without being fed. Without that energy, that devotion… I wither. Unfortunate as it was to fall into the hands of a neglectful master, I had no choice but to seek another. My new keeper bore the bloodline of the Black Serpent. He had double the virility. Night and day, he poured himself into me. He worked tirelessly; I was more than satisfied. So when Stuart showed up with a massive bouquet of red roses, hoping to coax me back, what greeted him was the sight of me, flushed and glowing, curled up in another man's arms. His eyes burned with rage as he went mad, smashing everything in the house, raging that I was unfaithful, that I dared take another man to my bed. Smiling, I leaned into my new master's embrace and introduced them. "Let me make the introductions. You two have more in common than you think. After all, I've slept with both of you."

No one knew that I was a sex addict until the company's team building exercise. I had forgotten to bring my medicine along for that night and was assigned to a tent with a male colleague. I was in tears as I climaxed right before his eyes, and now that there was no turning back, my impulses spiralled further away from control…

After waking up one day to discover I was coughing up flowers, everyone started giving me strange looks. It continued until my sworn enemy cornered me against a wall. His expression darkened as he chuckled softly and asked, "Oh, baby, have you been going out like this every day? Why don't you try mine instead?"

A random transmigrator, Rosanna Lacewin, finally gets fed up after living as me, Roxanne Lovelace, for five years. She then ups and leaves this world with her system, leaving behind my extremely spoiled son, Theo Sterling, and my unusually cold husband, Austin Sterling. Before I can even process my thoughts, I suddenly see a barrage of comments flashing before my eyes. "What kind of a disastrous start to a story is this? This is the first time I've ever seen such a stupid transmigrator! She arrived five years earlier, made a huge mess, and now, the original owner has to clean up the mess she left behind!" "That's right. All she had to do was just correct Theo's ways, warm up to Austin, and stop her family from bothering the actual main characters of the story. But she did none of that and only spent all her time enjoying herself and avoiding death!" "Theo's all spoiled now, and Austin is very distant from her. I'm feeling so annoyed just by looking at this family. I wish they'd just die." So, as it turns out, I'm just the cannon fodder in this story plot who dies young, and both my husband and my son will be the main antagonists later on.