Poetry On Myself นิยาย & เรื่องราว

I ran, I hid, and didn't want any people to know where I was. This isn't freedom for me as of now... I was being so selfish, and it made my bones prickled. Dahil sa haba ng panahon kong pamamalagi rito, ay ngayon ko lang iyon napagtanto. My life, at this particular moment, was a mess. I gave a piece of myself to a man who was still grieving a woman who looked exactly like me. But I was still here. Still thinking. Still breathing. And the fact that I could see it clearly enough to name it, that felt like the first thing in a while that was actually mine.

Na ang simpleng pagihip ng hangin, paglipad at ang pahuni ng ibon, ang musika, ang magagandang tanawin, ang araw, ang buwan at ang mga tala ay may makubuluhang simbolo na nagpapahiwatig sa ating buhay. Andrea said that a butterfly doesn't see how beautiful their wings are but other people can see the beauty of it. Parang tao lang. Nakikita ng ibang tao ang kabaitan at kapangitan ng ugali mo at mismong sarili mo, hindi mo nakikita. We often see the disaster of ourselves instead on focusing on how to appreciate the beauty and disaster of one self. I gathered air and courage to open the letter. This is what my Mama want to say to me but failed because I am always busy.

Ang dulas ng aking sariling kâtas ay humalo sa kanyang pawis, dahilan upang mas maging swabe ang bawat baon niya. Napapikit ako nang mariin habang ang bawat pagsalpak niya ay tila yumayanig sa buong pagkatao ko. Rinig na rinig ko ang sarili kong boses na tila nagmamakaawa pa na bilisan niya. ​"M-malapit na ako... Nazzer! D-diyan lang... ahhh!"

tinalasan ko pa lalo ang aking pakiramdam at binuksan ang ilaw sa aking cellphone dahil sa sobrang dilim na rito sa ibaba. "Ano ba 'to? Wala akong ibang makita kungdi puro hagdan! May hangganan kaya ito? Ano langit lang self?" Nakakabaliw ang sobrang katahimikan dito kaya ang sarili ko na lang ang aking kaka-usapin. "Dapat pala binilang ko kung naka-ilang hakbang na Ako! Balik kaya Ako sa itaas? Dios ko, nababaliw na talaga Ako!"

I whispered to myself. Alas dose pasado na ng hating gabi pero wala pa rin siya, niloloko ko na lang ang sarili ko. Napangiti ako ng mapakla ng dahil sa kaisipang 'yon bago hinipan ang kandila. "Happy birthday self," I greeted myself, smiling like an idiot. "I wish you a healthy heart after being broken and cut into many pieces. You're strong and brave... Just love yourself because no one can love you more than you do," giit ko pa bago tumayo at nagpasyang matulog na lang.

Kung mangyayari 'yun, magagawa ko siyang labanan not because I am choosing myself. I will fight him, for choosing those people around me over him, yet choosing him over myself. Mamatay ako para sa mga taong pinili akong samahan at mahalin hangang dulo. I'm selfless I know. Pero ang pagiging selfless ko'y isang paraan para maging makasarili ako. Dahil kung mawawala ako, sisiguraduhin kong kami ni draven hangang dulo. Umuwi ako sa condo kinagabihan, pakiramdam ko ng araw na 'yon nauubos na ang oras ko. Madalas kong marinig ang tunog ng orasan tila napakabagal, pero nauubos parin.

I'll note it. modernongdyosaa I write when I can't speak. I write when all the thoughts caged inside my mind was wildly asking for it to be free. I write to speak up all the things, thoughts I can't even speak up for myself. I write to be free from all the judgments and pains from reality. They ask you and let them be. You're the only one who have the power, not anyone else. Your words will never be seen unless you show them. Camsy_Classy

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko nang tinatawag ang Diyos para gabayan kami sa laban na ito. Habang naghuhugas ng kamay ay tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa malaking salamin. Nabasa ko kaagad ang kalungkutan sa aking mga mata na siyang hindi ko naman maramdaman sa loob ko. Para akong isang puzzle na hindi mabuo-buo kasi may nawawalang piyesa. Hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko. Am I lost with my own life? Sino ba talaga ako?

He's singing the lyrics as if it speaks what his heart want to say. “I move mountains on my own, don't need nobody help Change your mind when I change my life, better start believing in myself And we all now, looking for, looking for God, so we never see it in ourselves Should divine intervention move itself? It's hard to tell what the prayer compelled You can find me dancin' in between the raindrops” I know this song, I love also listening to this song on spotify when I was in my last year in college. “Tryna find a way to make the pain stop

Napapailing-iling na lamang ako. "Katulad mo, hindi ko rin kaya na isulat ang sarili kong kwento. Gustuhin ko man pero pagdating sa gitna o di kaya ay wala ka pa sa gitna mawawalan ka na ng gana. Ewan ko ba, ayaw ata sa akin ng sarili kong kwento." Mapapatawa na lamang ako kapag naiisip ko ang bagay na ito. Bakit sarili ko pang buhay hindi ko maisulat?