ข้าเป็นเซียนอายุ 3,000 ปี

Joanna's POV

"Joanna, get up." I heard someone yell.

"Could someone help me stop that noise?" I groaned, closing my ears with the pillow. "I really need this five minutes of extra sleep." I silently prayed.

"Joanna!" The voice came out again. This time it sounded clear and like --

Oh shit. I jumped off my bed immediately. Where could I hide? 

"Joanna Gore Alex. Get the hell up or I swear, I will unleash hell on your head!" My mum shouted as she pounded on my door.

There went my delicious sleep people. Yes, I called sleep delicious. Have you tasted it? Trust me, you should. I hope that you would understand my current situation.

"Oh, you don't want to get up? She questioned. "Suit yourself then," she scolded and a few seconds later I heard her footsteps retreat.

"Thank God!" I sighed and did a happy, booty shake afterward. PS: it's a thing where you like roll your hips and twerk a little.

The booty shake was short-lived when I felt something cold and wet sting my skin. "What the --

My eyes flashed opened to see a Elvis who looked down at me with a smirk on his lips.

Wait. How did he...? Nevermind, he's so dead. I mused.

"Elvis!" I shouted before I hopped off my heavenly bed. Yes, it was heavenly - its features could agree.

He took off running immediately when he noticed I had gotten out of bed. "Get back here you coward!" I blurted, while I tried to catch up with him. 

He was fast but since luck was on my side, I caught him in no time. Taking him unaware, I jumped on his back, my fingers going straight for the target.

"Oh no. Not the face. Not my face!" He screeched as he made attempted to remove my hands from his face.

Satisfied with my artwork, I got off him and sauntered to the kitchen. Where mum was making breakfast.

"Morning mom," I greeted, kissing her on the cheek. She turned around to smile at me as her brown skin stood out the same way the smile did. She was taller, like way taller than dad. Maybe it was because she was from Sudan, the southern part to be specific, and not from Nigeria.

Mom worked as a Lab scientist at a specialist hospital close to us so she was always around hence she was only called to work when there was a need for her services.

She was a full-time Christian who spent most of her time with God and her Bible. She had met dad in India, where they both attended college. Basically, I'm a half-cast. 

"Did he succeed?" She smirked, returning to what she was doing, making breakfast.

I shrugged. "He did but I got my revenge," I replied as she swallowed hard. "Mum, don't worry. I didn't hurt your baby."

I rolled my eyes as she released the breath she was holding. Elvis had always been Momma's boy and I was Daddy's girl. So you get my drift? You better do.

"By the way, where's Dad?" I asked while I munched on an apple.

"Over here," he answered, coming down the stairs. He then kissed my cheek when he reached me to which I responded with a happy smile. See, this was what I was talking about. <Daddy's girl>

Dad himself had a fair complexion with an average height, hence why mom was a head taller than him. He was a professor at a university here in my state.

Though he worked part-time he was always in school so his students could meet him anytime for questions and some advice. Some even come to our home on Sundays for meals and other issues, they see dad as their father and dad always took them as his children.

"How are you preparing for the first day of high school?" Mom questioned, trying to rile me up which definitely worked as I frowned.

"Mom, why do you ask?" I groaned to which dad laughed and mom rolled her eyes with a smile, knowing her plan was working.

"Come on, let's eat," She said after she had set the table and placed the kettle that contained hot water on it for us to use in making our tea.

"Elvis!" I called out.

"I'm coming, chicken," he blurted out as he too came down the stairs in his tall, glory. All dressed up and ready for school. He took dad's skin color but mum's height rather, with his lean muscular body, a sharp jaw, light pink lips, piercing black eyes that made the girls run around him all the time.

"Well at least, someone's excited about school" I grumbled, with a hint of sadness as I stared at him and noticed plain looking I was.

My skin was brown like momma's own just a little fairer and I took my dad's height - I'm average too with a slim figure, I'm curvy in some places but not in parts that make guys run around me, not that I was complaining that much but you get my drift.

I also had brown eyes with black flecks in them, a pointed nose, brown pouty lips, and high cheekbones.

What the hell happened to your face?" Mom screeched and quickly rushed over to Elvis when her eyes spotted the little mark I gave him on his neck. She should be thankful it wasn't his face though. 

"Momma's boy," I whispered with an evil grin.

"What did you do?" Dad questioned, giving me a weird glance as he too noticed the slight mark.

"Just a little payback for dumping a bucket of water on me in this cold. Besides, it's a harmattan morning!" I shivered, as I remembered the event.

I know some of you might be asking what harmattan is. Well, it's a season here in Nigeria like you have winter, spring, summer, raining season, and things like that. This harmattan season comes from October and lasts till February. It has a dry harsh feeling with its dry and dusty breeze that swings from the Sahara desert, it's a rare season as its mornings are freezing, afternoons are blazing hot and evenings windy with dust particles flying in every direction.

"I thought you said you didn't hurt him?" Mom asked after she sent a glare my way.

"Sometimes I lie," I replied with a shrug. 

"Remind me not to wake you up again." He sighed as he nodded continuously. "But on a serious note, why the face?" He whined. "Even though you didn't succeed on that"

"Awn. Is someone a baby?" I teased. "I didn't really do much harm." I winked as I ran to my room to get dressed.

Wow! First day of school. I mused as I thought of those teachers, with their foolish gossips. They always look for things to talk about. Plus I was sure I was gonna meet some shitty teenagers.

Nothing was going to change, it was the same as junior high school. And hm..., my ex. I was going to meet him in this school because it was the same school he had moved to. Well, that was what Harmony, my best friend told me. 

I mean, why did he choose this school out of the many schools around. Even till now I always asked myself, what got me attracted to him? Was it his big ears or pimpled face? Or his dumbass? 

Sorry if I was sounding harsh but that was just the truth. The guy was a total douchebag and I doubt it was love. Maybe it was just the excitement of having a boyfriend back then. 

If you're wondering, he was my first and I thanked God that shit didn't get real. That's if you know what I mean.

I made a vow to stand up to shitty friends and ignore the teachers and students gossip. 

I got dressed, said goodbye to mom and dad but not Elvis because he had left already. I headed outside and started my trek to school. It wasn't far from home.

In case you're wondering, Elvis and I didn't attend the same school. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I sound bipolar, don't I?

"Well, school here I come. My favorite place in the world," I muttered to no one in particular. I hope you noted the sarcasm behind my words.