Define Self-loathing Novels & Stories

"What?.." "Self-destruction. You look at yourself as a bad person in their life because of your choices. A monster. You are thinking that everyone thinks that you are a cruel person. You are blaming yourself even you are also a victim of the situation. I want you to look to yourself, not as a demon imprinted in your head. Don't think that you deserve all the pain inside you because of the choices that you made. You chose those because you love them and you care for them. You'll be never in peace if you cannot love yourself..." Love yourself? How?

“All this time. I thought I did that because I hated crossing paths with you… because I hated you. But now I realized…hindi pala ‘yon ang dahilan. It was because I hated the disappointment I felt every time you would only look at my shortcomings, when I was hoping na makikita mo rin ang good points ko” Hindi na niya napigilan ang pagkabasag ng boses sa mga huling salitang binitiwan niya. “Sa bawat achievement ko, kapag masaya ako o kapag may pumuri sa gawa ko, I would always have that very brief moment when I think of you and hoped that you would be proud of me too. But I would always feel so ashamed towards myself for even thinking that knowing that you would only see what I didn’t and cou

Nang makapa ko ang isang patag na bato, nahahapong iniangat ko ang sarili. Binaybay ko ang makitid at mabahong daan. Deep inside, there's this small voice commanding me to stop but I can't. It's the same routine, the same pain. Same brutal scene. But I endure it. 'Cause this nightmare gives me the reason. Hate is good. As long as there is vengeance pumping in my blood, I am mad and alive.

You almost died, you made me carry you, you had a fever you…" "Hey, I did not make you carry me, for your bloody information you suddenly carried me without my permission." She intruded.Ang kapal ng apog. Nagpasalamat na nga siya't lahat lahat. Kung maka horrible wagas. Grave naman to siya, sa hubo't hubad niyang katawan di ba talaga ito naalala kundi yung awful part lang? Ganun na ba siya kataba? Ka undesirable? Di naman siya mataba ah! Grave wala na talaga ata siyang ka appeal appeal sa lalaki. Nakakababa naman ng self confident ito. Ubos na self-esteem niya. Promise."...and for the love of God, will you stop making me feel awful? Did you know how painful it was to hear you say how horribl

Because of my fear na malaman niya that I can't stand up … that I was dying. I roughly brushed my hair with my fingers in annoyance. Then my tightly closed fist started punching my numb legs. My tears started welling down, hindi dahil sa sakit ng pagsuntok ko sa sarili ko but because of feeling weak and helpless. I hate myself! I really hate myself! I hate being sick! I hate that I am dying when what I want is to live more years hoping to save our marriage again. —------- AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional physician and have no professional knowledge in medicine. Some medical conditions, treatment, advice, medication, symptoms, etc. may not be accurate. If you have experienced the

Lust is a weapon and I choose to master it, not be consumed by it. Yes, I pleasure myself when necessary because I’m no saint. Some nights I wrestle the monster inside me to keep it caged. I’d rather fight my demons alone in the dark kaysa sayangin ang sarili ko sa isang tao na hinding-hindi ako deserve. My body count is zero yet it doesn’t mean I’m gay. Ayaw ko lang magpatalo sa aking libido dahil baka iyon pa ang maging dahilan para masayang ang aking dedikasyon bilang susunod na Mafia King.

Ikinulong niya ako sa kaniyang dibdib kaya mas lalo pa akong napahagulhol. “Kasalanan ko… kasalanan ko ang lahat ng ‘to…” I repeatedly uttered in between my sobs. I feel so down. Pakiramdam ko ay ako mismo ang nagdadala ng malas at gulo sa buhay ng mga tao sa paligid ko. I feel like I am the villain. And I hate myself for that!

Hindi ko ata kakayaning dagdagan pa lahat ng kahihiyang dinala ko para sa sarili. I was humiliated enough in front of him. Who cares about our past conflict? I know he had a lot of shortcomings and wickedness before. I'm not ignoring those facts. But I think my image in the present still matters. Enough with the egoistic and bold facade. Tuwing nangyayari iyon ay lalo lang tumitindi ang kahihiyan ko sa sarili. Might as well maintain the remaining shame and dignity I have now. Kaya hindi bale na.

Ngunit kahit nasa loob na siya ng banyo, hindi pa rin tumitigil ang kanyang pagkabalisa. Lutang na lutang siya. Sa sobrang kawalan ng focus, nagkapalit pa ang gamit ng kanyang shampoo at body wash. Nang mapagtanto ang pagkakamali, napangiwi siya sa sarili. Mahigit isang oras siyang nagpaikot-ikot sa loob, parang isang kaluluwang hindi mapakali... pagod, magulo, at lalo lamang nadidismaya sa sariling kahinaan.

Ngunit nang makita niya ang kanyang basang mukha at ang tila duwag niyang repleksyon sa salamin, hindi na niya napigilan ang pag-agos ng kanyang mga luha. "Hate ko ang sarili ko... mas hate ko ang sarili ko ngayon!" hagulgol niya habang nakatakip ang dalawang kamay sa mukha. Mas higit niyang kinamumuhian ang sarili niyang kahinaan kaysa sa pagiging mapilit at dominante ni Jaxon. Anim na taon siyang nagtago at nagpakalayo-layo, para lang magising isang araw na muli na namang nagiging laruan sa mga kamay nito.